SITTING DOWN TOGETHER
Well, to begin with, we can sit down with ourselves (not with our children) and honestly ask ourselves these questions:
As long as any of our answers to the above questions is "Yes", there is a chance that we are not really listening to our children. When we can let go of how we think we should behave as adults and how children should behave; when we can truly answer "No" to the above questions, we are beginning to communicate with our children in a way that earns their true respect for us instead of their fear. We are building an open relationship with our children based on trust and love.
- Do we get impatient when we have to listen to our children's views on life issues because we think they are really too young for us to learn anything from them?
- Do we believe (maybe using our culture as a reason for this), since we are older and since our children are dependent on us for shelter, education and material needs, that what we say is more important than what they say or think?
- Are we carrying painful memories within ourselves from when we were not listened to as children? Memories that are the root of our anger and impatience? Or have we been too afraid to even look at this?
- Do we think that it is more important for our children to respect us than to love us?
As long as any of our answers to the above questions is "Yes", there is a chance that we are not really listening to our children. When we can let go of how we think we should behave as adults and how children should behave; when we can truly answer "No" to the above questions, we are beginning to communicate with our children in a way that earns their true respect for us instead of their fear. We are building an open relationship with our children based on trust and love.